So you can start the year with your mind right
1. Figure out your why
Do you have a why? It might be your children, your parents, your partner, or the full potential you have not yet reached. Have a bigger reason for why you wake up in the morning and do what you do. Simply trying to make more money or keep a job is not enough. Your why is going to push you when you want to give up. It’s going to give you the lift you need to get through your day and to move onto the next level.
2. Don’t be average
You have not worked this hard to be second best. Don’t coast. Don’t be complacent with the success you’ve already achieved. There are no shortcuts in life. It is going to be difficult. You will struggle. But in that struggle, you will learn that there has been greatness within you all along. You just needed to tap into it.
3. Don’t let someone’s opinion of you become your reality
This one can take a long time to learn. But once you understand that others’ perceptions are just that — perceptions — it will free you to ignore them and focus on your gifts. When you do that, you will realize that what others think has nothing to do with what you are able to achieve. What others think is not reality. Don’t let it control your destiny.
4. Speak only in positive terms about yourself
Don’t speak negatively about yourself. Speak about yourself with powerful and positive words. You’re passionate. You’re driven. You’re excited. You’re grateful. Train your mind to overcome the natural tendency to have a negative view of the world. Research shows that framing things positively in the first instance “sticks” in the mind even when negative facts are later presented, whereas framing things negatively in the first instance “sticks” in the mind even when positive facts are later presented. Frame yourself in a positive light and that will become a positive perception that “sticks” in others’ minds.
5. Believe in yourself
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Take ownership for your life and believe in your capabilities. There is more in you that you are not expressing. Don’t give yourself permission to continue to live a small life. A big dream can’t fit into a small life. Say: I can, I will, I must.
6. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable
Be honest with yourself first to know where you are. Know your limits, and then test them. Know what it is that you showed up to do. What is your life’s purpose? When you know what that is, don’t let it go. When you find what that is, you will have no time to stay in that warm, fuzzy, comfortable place. What you want is not in the comfort zone. When you look at where you want to be, you will understand that you have to come out of that comfort zone. Most people do not achieve their dreams because of fear, limited vision, and lack of self-esteem. You are not most people. Act intentionally toward your goal, your purpose, and the universe will get out of your way.
Smile during every interaction you have today. Ask the folks you interact with meaningful questions about themselves, while smiling. Try this for one day. It will change your day for the better. Do this every day, and it will change your life for the better.
8. Control the spirit of your day
In the morning, listen to something positive, like a motivational audio book or video. Build yourself up. Set your sights on something positive, on your goal. Visualize yourself there. Undoubtedly, something negative will happen to during the day to throw you off your game. Don’t let that drain all your energy. Don’t let that knock the wind out of you. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. Focus on the positive.
10. Act with a sense of urgency
When you have a sense of urgency, you will be determined not to quit until you achieve your goal. Don’t be casual about life. Don’t say “I’ll do that later.” That assumes you will have a later. Do today whatever is necessary to achieve your dreams. Don’t put it off. “You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.” Les Brown.
11. Overcome your fear
Fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real. It is the most insidious of human thoughts. Fear kills dreams. Fear can hold you back from doing something you know you are capable of doing. It is completely self-created. And it is not reality. Here are three steps to overcoming fear from Olivia De Point: 1. You must name your fear and reject it. 2. You must reprogram your brain to override fear with different thoughts. 3. You must rebuild your brain by taking action in direct opposition to your fear.
12. Find a greater purpose
By looking at your past experiences, you can clarify the purpose of you life. It will provide you with the energy and courage to go outside your comfort zone. Research shows that when you give up self-interested goals, and take on contributive goals, you function differently. The biology changes. The thought process changes. Learning accelerates. You grow more.
13. Monitor your inner conversations
There is a continuous conversation going on inside everyone’s mind. Negative inner dialogues bring about negative results. Positive inner dialogues bring about positive results. Become aware of your thoughts and control them. It’s just like listening to a recording. Why not replace it with another recording that you like?
14. Let your light shine brightly
Your light will be too bright for some people. And that’s ok. People will say things to get you to dim your light, to make you shrink back down. Don’t listen to them. Just “hand them some shades.” Lisa Nichols.
15. Say yes
Say yes. Say yes to your dreams. Say yes to your happiness. Say yes to your goals. Yes to yourself. Yes I believe. Yes I can do it. Yes it’s my turn. Yes it’s now.
16. Say no
Say no to whatever makes you feel unhealthy, mentally or physically. Say no to habits that are dragging you down. Say no to negative people. “Some people are so negative that they could walk into a dark room and start to develop.” Les Brown. Changing yourself is a full time job — there isn’t time to change other people. And you need all the energy you can muster. Detoxify your life. Say no to anything or anyone that is not aligned with your goals and what you are trying to achieve.
17. Control your reactions
When someone says or does something that makes you angry, take a few seconds to ask yourself, is this reaction going to help or hurt me? An angry reaction rarely helps anyone, and can set you back in your career, relationships and well-being. When things go wrong, don’t go with them.“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same…Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.” Rudyard Kipling
18. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt. Comparing yourself to others creates a totally unrealistic measure for what constitutes success. And if you don’t factor in all of their negative attributes, you’re mixing and matching a nonexistent set of qualities. Everyone is a package deal. So stop looking around at what everyone else is doing and focus on where you are and what’s important to you. You can appreciate those whom you view as successful. But keep the focus on running your own individual race. Compete with yourself. If you chase others, you may miss your own path.
19. Know that your dream is possible
Think of a goal you would like to achieve. Think of something that’s important for you. Something that gives your life purpose. Your dream. Say to yourself, every day, “it’s possible.” It begins to change your belief system. Whatever you have done up to this point is a manifestation of what you believe is possible for you. It’s a duplication of what you subconsciously believe you deserve. Most people operate out of their personal history. Operate out of a larger vision of yourself. Out of your imagination. Not your memory. Your past does not equal your future. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn
20. Use your gift
Some people go through life never discovering what their talents are. Each one of us has skills and abilities. You have something you brought to the universe. Even if you haven’t discovered it yet, experiment until you do. And once you find it, hold on to it. Nuture it. Develop it. Master it. You have to work on it. If you don’t develop your gift, it won’t serve you. Most of us don’t like to do the things that come easy to us. But your gift can take you many places in this life.
21. Make it ok to fail
Many people fear failure, fear the unknown. Some people give up before they even try. Redefine failure. Failure introduces a person to herself. Failure is fuel. Let failure grow you. Don’t stop at your first, second, tenth, fiftieth failure. The only way you can call it a failure is if you quit. If you keep going, it is only a hurdle. You will fail your way to success. “Failure is success in progress.” Albert Einstein
Whatever you give, it’s going to come back. Give encouragement. Give love. Give support. The reason most people don’t give is they operate out of a consciousness of scarcity. They don’t believe there is enough to go around. They don’t think they have time. They constantly make withdrawals from those around them instead of deposits. Some give only to be recognized. Or because they want something specific that their “giving” will achieve. And so they go through life holding back or giving only for selfish reasons. But what you hold back from life holds back from you. When you don’t give selflessly, you are cheating yourself. Each one of us showed up to contribute something to life. If we don’t do it, it won’t be done. You are part of an equation. You are needed. Keep the flow going. If you decide to live life generously, it will come back to you. Life will take on a whole new meaning to you. You’ll be happier. You’ll move differently. You’ll have a different energy. You will succeed.
23. Be humble
You don’t know it all. Don’t prejudge things. You will stagnate. Keep learning. Maintain a curiosity about life. New ideas abound. And if you are closed to them, you will miss them. Be open and receptive to new ideas, new ways of doing things. You never find out how much you know until you find out how little you know.
24. Evolve those around you
Not everyone is growing at the same rate you are. They also may be growing in different ways that may no longer align with your values. What was once acceptable to you in the past may no longer be acceptable to you now. The reality is, those who don’t grow with you, you may outgrow. Acknowledge this possibility and find ways to inspire your community to grow. Leading by example is one way. But it may take more intentional actions. Like helping them articulate and plan their future. Or bringing them with you to a coaching session. Or coaching them yourself in a positive way. Whatever method you choose, be intentional and proactive about inspiring them to grow.
25. Tell someone you believe in them
“Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him and to let him know that you trust him.” Booker T. Washington, 1856–1915.
26. Understand that your problems are a sign of life
The more problems you have, the more alive you are. The only people who don’t have problems are found in cemeteries. Problems will allow you to grow stronger, so you’re more and more capable of handling problems. The only way to make a strong person is through resistance, struggle, pain, frustration, disappointment. What is your reaction when you’re faced with a problem? Is it “why me”? Do you complain? It’s time to change that reaction. Have a proper philosophy towards problems. Look positively at the challenge they represent, and the strength you will gain from solving them.
27. Be authentic
Have you ever felt a churning inside when you go against your gut? Or felt unsatisfied when you’ve tried on someone else’s job, personality, way of communicating, idea of success, behaviors, expectations? Stop wearing those costumes, they are not you. Be you. When you are authentic, all of your parts come together and be. We are creative, we innovate more, we author our own way. Our life has meaning. And we generate authenticity in others. Be nothing that you’re not, and everything that you are. “Your time is limited. Don’t waste it trying to live someone else’s life.” Steve Jobs
28. Train others how to treat you
We set the rules and show by way of action how we should be treated by others. Start with yourself. The way you believe in and treat yourself sets the standard for how others should treat you. Act with confidence and integrity, and do what you say you will do. Discuss your “rules of engagement” with others (when they are at their best) so they know how to treat you. Model how you’d like to be treated. Reinforce behaviors you like. Pick a role model to emulate. Be patient and have realistic expectations. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
29. Surround yourself with only quality people
Make your circle full of people who encourage you, empower you, teach you, think like you, dream like you. There are two types of relationships: nourishing relationships and toxic relationships. Nourishing relationships are the relationships that inspire you, motivate you, bring out the best in you. Toxic relationships are relationships with people that criticize you, find fault, exploit your weaknesses, remind you of the mistakes you made in the past. Get all of the toxic people out of your life. These people are bad for your health. It takes a lot of energy to reach your goal. Make a list of the people you communicate with most and ask yourself, are you becoming a better person because of this relationship? Are they helping you to grow, become a better person? Are they inspiring you, encouraging you to stretch? “Never have a companion who casts you in the shade.” Baltasar Gracian, 1601–1658
30. Stop expecting things of people
Expectations are like a third party in our relationships, constantly vying for our attention. When behaviors match the expectations, then everything is fine. When things don’t measure up, we get grumpier and grumpier. Expectations hold you in a loop of false possibility. If you’ve asked a couple of times, and you haven’t gotten the response you’ve wanted, then you’re probably not going to get it. In that stepping away to measure up to expectation, you missed the moment and another possible path forward. And even there isn’t another path forward, you missed seeing the truth of that relationship. Expectation doesn’t guarantee you a thing. Expectation doesn’t stop painful stuff from happening. Free yourself from that loop of false possibility. Free yourself from expectation. “If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.” Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
31. Diminish your ego
It can come along for the ride, but don’t let it drive. Experiment with this. If you are criticized, for example, do nothing. Be still. Become aware of the ego. Deep down, you know the criticism doesn’t reflect you. It merely impacts your ego. When the ego shrinks in size, then you will realize there is a power underneath it. When you are actually present in this moment, the ego can’t survive. The ego continuously overlooks the now and gives more importance to the past and future. If we can recondition ourselves to be present now, we can bypass the ego. The now is the foundation for the rest of your life. The quickest way out of the ego is to make this moment the primary moment in your life. There is no life apart from now.